Have we no sense of humor? Do we take Tea Baggers, Birthers, and Deathers too seriously every time we take them too seriously? Must we always be confrontational? Why can't we be friends? Here is a new website called "Billionaires for Wealthcare" that shows how to make friends with your friendly neighborhood Tea Baggers (while making a point better than any rant can):
Go to a Tea Bagger rally in your block-long stretch limo. Step out wearing your black tux and monocle. Women wear furs, diamonds, opera gloves, and a $1,000 Dior gown. Outclass Rush Limbaugh by smoking a Gurkha Black Dragon cigar. Have legions of camera-flashing paparazzi follow you. Tea Baggers will adore you and worship the ground where your dog squats. Finally, don't forget your own Palm Court ensemble performing this theme song:
"This Healthcare Plan Must Die"
(To the tune of "Battle Hymn Of The Republic")
Rejoice and let us glory in the profits that we gain
By rationing the remedies for suffering and pain.
We will not let you regulate our budgetary drain.
This healthcare plan must die! (Chorus)
We bought a bunch of senators and congresspeople too.
They serve our corporate interests and we tell them what to do.
This gravy train will stop the day a healthcare bill gets through.
This healthcare plan must die! (Chorus)
Our PR team is crackerjack. We're framing the debate!
We're spreading lots of lies and we're unleashing lots of hate.
We'll drive a stake into the bill the day it leaves the gate.
This healthcare plan must die! (Chorus)
And finally, don't forget to bring your placards (as gauche as it mean seem, every tea bagger is a sucker for one of these):
Nothing like a little satire to soothe the savage beasts.
(Cross-posted at The Swash Zone.)
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