News Item: Analysts: Apple likely to release television set within two years.
10. Vegas taking bets first prototype television will be found in bar in Redwood City.
9. In nod to early television, instead of rabbit ears, it will have two Apple stems.
8. Nano version of Apple television only lets you watch three channels.
7. Receive discount if if wearing black turtleneck when purchasing television.
6. Extra commercials programmed in, pitching the Steve Jobs bio.
5. Power source on television runs low, must lug into Apple Store for new power sources.
4. Any music in TV programming will be automatically loaded, and billed, to your iPod.
3. Must purchase all your programs via Apple Apps Store.
2. Siri will refuse to let you watch Fox News Channel.
1. Kids' finger smudges on television screen will drive you crazy.
Bonus Riffs
Dan Frommer: Here’s how Apple could finally put the “TV” in Apple TV
Slash Lane: NYT: Apple expected to release Siri-powered television by 2013
Adam Satariano: Apple TV Project Is Said to Be Led By ITunes Creator Robbin
Steve Jobs Announces "Klaatu barada nikto!", New iBuilding
Apple, Belatedly, Launches New iLocater
iToy
(Cross-posted at The Garlic.)
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