Jesus has left the bulding -- again

By Capt. Fogg

Some people I know were all excited on Sunday; something to do with Jesus rising from the dead and into orbit. Maybe it's because he's been reading the papers, what with everything from tormenting "sinners" to war profiteering, precious metal speculation and brutal conquest being done in his name. I would probably do the same thing if I could.

Bloomberg has an article this morning about the hedge fund Red Kite Metals. Red Kite is the world's biggest industrial-metals hedge fund and returned 188 percent in 2006 from the commodities boom but lost 50% of its value the following year. Copper, the fund's most profitable metal has been setting new record prices again this month. There are many reasons, but then copper, the main ingredient of brass, seems to do well when bullets fly and people die. It's all to the glory of God however, or at least fund co-founder Michael Farmer seems to think and so does his partner David Lilley. They're both evangelicals who last year gave a luncheon for the London Metals Exchange that turned into a theological lecture and testimonial to Jesus. These guys wouldn't be making a fortune if Jesus wasn't behind copper prices, would they? Glory be to Jesus.

Seems others like Pat Buchanan give even more honor and praise to Jesus who would, says he, support the killing of convicted criminals, because after all, he was himself killed. You can hardly argue against a case like that unless you're not Christian, but the nagging suspicion remains that none of them will be able to pull off that three day turnaround.

I've been following the Travel Channel series where two Englishmen spend months living with isolated tribes in West Papua. It's easy to identify with these unlettered and naked hunter-gatherers in the way they waste vital time and resources giving things to gods invented for the purpose and in the way they immediately look for someone to hang as a witch when the chief catches the flu or a hut burns down - even though they insist God will protect them from all evil. There is an amazing similarity between humans as though there were some fundamental, rapturous insanity built into our heads. I'm sure there is actually, and it sure would be nice if there were a way off this universe that didn't involve leaving my brains behind. But another year is past and once again Jesus has left the building and who can blame him?