Clownfish of the Week: Gov. Mark Sanford

By (O)CT(O)PUS


Photoshop credit: AZrainman

He disappeared from plain sight. When asked of his whereabouts, his cohorts refused to answer. Security, they said. His wife knew nothing. Reporters spotted his car at the airport. Rumors swirled. Something about taking a hike in the Appalachians. Finally, an admission, a clandestine trip … Yeee Haah … to Argentina!

Can’t you hear me, baby, rappin’ on your door?

Can’t you hear me, baby, rappin’ on your door?

Now you hear me tappin’, tappin’ across your floor.

For seven days and seven nights days, Governor Mark Sanford of South Caroline was missing. This is the same Governor Mark Sanford who refused to accept federal economic stimulus funds ... for the State of South Carolina that has among the worst unemployment stats in the nation … and failing grades in education.

Feel like a broke-down engine, ain’t got no drive at all,

Feel like a broke-down engine, ain’t got no drive at all.

This is the same Governor Sanford whose own legislature voted to accept the stimulus money and override his veto, whose own State Supreme Court upheld the state legislature that demanded the governor take the stimulus money; the same Governor Sanford from the same great state of South Carolina, rumors say, who wants to run for president of these even greater United States of Aye!

Lordy, Lord, Lordy, Lord, Lordy, Lord.

After seven days and seven nights, we discover Governor Mark Sanford had secretly flown to Argentina to visit a woman with whom he had been having … an affair! "I've let down a lot of people," said the governor at a news conference where he choked up as he ruminated on God's law, moral absolutes, and following one's heart. His family did not attend.

Feel like a broke-down engine,

ain’t got no whistle or bell,

If you’re a real hot momma,

drive away Daddy’s weeping spell.

At The Swash Zone today, the temperature is 87 degrees and sunny. Visibility is 10 miles, and the surf is calm. All resident clownfish have left our shores … bound for South Carolina.

(Cross-posted at The Swash Zone.)